mi ansiedad es gringa y capitalista / my anxiety is white and capitalist

cristina gee

my anxiety is white and capitalist taxing and isolating invasive and exploitative  demanding, and all-consuming

my anxiety is a byproduct of u.s. settler-colonialism a symptom of its greed and denial of itself its violence against black and indigenous people of color 

capitalism measures me in statistics, percentiles, and rankings  job offers and letters of recommendations, reduces me to resume builders and elevator pitches and the number of times I can smile at customers with an ounce of authenticity

my anxiety is a byproduct of american individualism the “I’m sorry I can’t today”s and the “I’m just so swamped this week” and the “I might be free 3 wednesdays from now?!”

odio el sueño americano los bootstraps las cercas blancas las minivans y los juegos de fútbol americano

sometimes I dream of leaving this country that treats me like an asset a dollar sign  a resource a number a body

volvería al país de mi madre pa’ tomar un cafecito de la calle pa’ ver el atardecer en el Zocalo  conocer la vida que no puedo saber

pero yo soy gringa y capitalista

Cristina Gee is a 20 year old undergrad studying Political Science, Communications, and Spanish. She is also a barista at the Davenport Coffee Lounge and a former coordinator at the Center for Diversity and Inclusion. She is passionate about exploring the intersections between race, gender, class, disability, and sexuality.